What would Jesus do???

Greetings,

I have been pondering this an awful lot as of late, I guess with Easter coming up it is starting to bother me a little more.
Being agoraphobic one does not necessarily get out as much as they should, or function properly when they are out for that matter.
I was paging through my churches directory and found I was no longer in it. I thought how odd? As other people who I know that have actually left the church and joined other churches are still listed in the directory. I had my Dad investigate this, which was a bad choice, I should have just left him out of it. Any how the office secretary informs my Dad that I was with drawn from the church in 2001, interesting news to me, now mind you had I not picked up that directory I would not have known. I had moved out of town and worked weekends. I had always worked weekends however. The church secretary said that after being "inactive" for so long I was withdrawn. Here is the thing of it, even when I was out of town I come to church just as much as the next Christmas Catholic, now I should not be "proud" of that, and I am not, I am simply stating a fact. Within that time frame we had some baptisms, a funeral, your random holiday services....I had gone. I didn't stop going, and even if I had maybe stop a second and check on the woman who lost her baby daddy, or check on the kid himself!
I am agoraphobic, I do my best. Maybe a little out reach would have been nice from them, maybe toss me a prayer shawl. When I moved back to town they had a wonderful Monday night service that was very small and intimate, and I went, my son even went. He has a hard time sitting in the church that is where the funeral service for his father was, this Monday night service was in a separate room.
I felt much safer in the smaller setting, and I went. Well they stopped having that service and I try to go Sundays but it is very hard. Too many people freak me out. I am agoraphobic, going up for communion freaks me out, and the hand bells really freak me out BAD. I guess all of these times I had been going to church they had a book I was supposed to be signing, being that my son or a nephew is usually who signs me in, I guess "Mommy" or "Auntie" are not very good for keeping score. I do on occasion sign in myself, and I keep filling in "member", maybe some one should have said something.
 The thing of it is, I never stopped considering it my church, it kind of makes me sad that they just stopped considering me.
I was informed I can rejoin the church, which again, I never actually thought I had left and we all know how well I would do in a class with strangers...I thought when I was baptised in that church, when I took communion in that church, and when I was confirmed in that church I was a member. Not to mention being married in that church and baptising my son (and husband) in that church, now I have to take a class to become a member.
Next week is my favorite church service, I love the Easter Service. From all of the pretty dresses, to the flowers, and the music(horns don't freak me out)to the scripture....HE HAS RISEN! I love that service and I am not sure if I am going to be going, at least to "my church".
Before you dismiss some one maybe you should actually see what the circumstances are.

Love and Light