Hello Dear Friends
Always straight up emotional, my sister may even step out on a ledge and question the possibility that I might just be bi-polar, however that is one diagnosis I don't actually have. The tears just come so quickly and insignificantly. Hell, The Bella's Final, that will even do it. When Don't You Forget About Me and Anna Kendrick's fist hits the air. I got to suck it in. The tears come, but I have to suck it in before it turns into a full on "session".
So what the hell is going on with me? Finally I drag myself in to the ob/gyn, this may want to be where you tune out, as per usual I might just be over stepping. TMI...I won't lie. I own it.
So my old ob/gyn retired, this bites. Agoraphobia Gurl does not adapt well to change. Should I go see my regular MD, Doctor McSexy....No! No! No! That is simply awkward. I don't want this really attractive brilliant man giving me a pap and pelvic, that is like totally sending mixed signals to my vag. Dr. McSexy good! Pap and pelvic bad. We don't need to confuse my vag. I have enough confusion in my life.
So who do I see? A man, a woman...well it is going to take me 6 months to get into see a woman so I take that guy I can get into see in a week. As it turns out Dr. McSexy likes the guy. He delivered his son. So if he is good enough for Mrs. Dr. McSexy he is good enough for me.
Is it just me, but when you see a new ob/gyn do you feel compelled to do a little extra "landscaping"? Not too much, just a little. Yeah, the crap I worry about.
The dress theory...I saw this on television or a movie, but I found it to be brilliant! If you wear a dress to the pap/pelvic all you would have to do is take off your panties, hit the stir ups, and pull up your dress. This seems less awkward to me. I am all about less awkward. So I am going to try the dress theory. SNAP....in theory this works but he has to do a breast exam, so I am all nudie in the paper gown. As it turns out, as most things in my life do. I have to go back. They saw a little something something, which I am trying hard not to think about too much. The bonus being I should be able to actually use the dress theory when I go back for the follow up. Could anything ever just be normal?
FYI they moved my hospital around, why was my blood pressure high? The panic attack I had walking down the long stupid empty skinny hallway that looked like something out of The Shining, nice people. Bonus...it took a little work but I found my coffee kiosk. I deserved that coffee!
Next time I promise not to write about my vag!
Love and Light!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
He Has Risen!
Hello Dear Friends,
Been busy with babies and school but I wanted to take a moment to talk about my weekend. On Sunday my church Pastor for 30 plus years had retired. When a Pastor leaves the church, at least the Lutheran Church, the Pastor literally has to leave the church. Find another place to worship. I guess I understand the need for this. This carves room for the new Pastor, so he can lead the congregation. He can come back after a year to visit. A lot of build up and anticipation led to this moment. I obviously don't go to church like I should. I don't go any where like I should. Plus I usually need an escort, the joys of agoraphobia.
Once upon a time I was very active in the church. All of the Rally Day Picnics, singing in the children's choir, fellowship pot lucks, even spring cleaning the church. We met amazing people over the years like Janet and Gene, people which I still love very dearly.
I remember very clearly Pastor Janzow's first day at Ascension, I had the opportunity to watch his family grow. I remember being very young and singing Morning Has Broken (by Cat Stevens) during service and asking Pastor Janzow if he wrote it (he wrote many beautiful pieces) after the service, he chuckled and said 'I wish". Having memories of him lunching in my Parents dining room for Theresa's (my sister) baptism. I think it must be very hard being a Pastor, how much time and love he gave to us, his congregation, how much did he have to miss with his own family. He didn't mind questions or listening to problems and now it is time to let him go. Now I watch him say good bye. It is time to let go.
A Farewell Party was had at the Country Springs Hotel, which I would have loved to go to, but not something I could afford or probably handle for that matter, but the service on Sunday was a bitter sweet farewell. I was afraid my emotions would get the best of me. Which really was a non issue, after his final sermon the whole place was wiping away tears and sniffling. From beginning to the end he was with us. He wiped tears, shared in joys, made hospital visits, he spread a message of love.
One of the sweetest sounds is the sound of that mans voice. I love listening to him speak. I love his sermons. He loves to talk. He is not just a Shepherd but a story teller. He has walked with us. He has baptized us and our children. He has given our first communions, married us, and buried some of us. You walked with us in each precious moment.
Pastor Frank and Deaconess Jan thank you! Thank you for sharing your lives with us. Thank you for being a part of ours. You are parts of the most magical moments in the lives of us all. How does one say good bye? How does one let go?
He has risen,
He is risen indeed!
Hallelujah.
Merry Christmas!
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
Love and Light,
Agoraphobia Gurl
Been busy with babies and school but I wanted to take a moment to talk about my weekend. On Sunday my church Pastor for 30 plus years had retired. When a Pastor leaves the church, at least the Lutheran Church, the Pastor literally has to leave the church. Find another place to worship. I guess I understand the need for this. This carves room for the new Pastor, so he can lead the congregation. He can come back after a year to visit. A lot of build up and anticipation led to this moment. I obviously don't go to church like I should. I don't go any where like I should. Plus I usually need an escort, the joys of agoraphobia.
Once upon a time I was very active in the church. All of the Rally Day Picnics, singing in the children's choir, fellowship pot lucks, even spring cleaning the church. We met amazing people over the years like Janet and Gene, people which I still love very dearly.
I remember very clearly Pastor Janzow's first day at Ascension, I had the opportunity to watch his family grow. I remember being very young and singing Morning Has Broken (by Cat Stevens) during service and asking Pastor Janzow if he wrote it (he wrote many beautiful pieces) after the service, he chuckled and said 'I wish". Having memories of him lunching in my Parents dining room for Theresa's (my sister) baptism. I think it must be very hard being a Pastor, how much time and love he gave to us, his congregation, how much did he have to miss with his own family. He didn't mind questions or listening to problems and now it is time to let him go. Now I watch him say good bye. It is time to let go.
A Farewell Party was had at the Country Springs Hotel, which I would have loved to go to, but not something I could afford or probably handle for that matter, but the service on Sunday was a bitter sweet farewell. I was afraid my emotions would get the best of me. Which really was a non issue, after his final sermon the whole place was wiping away tears and sniffling. From beginning to the end he was with us. He wiped tears, shared in joys, made hospital visits, he spread a message of love.
One of the sweetest sounds is the sound of that mans voice. I love listening to him speak. I love his sermons. He loves to talk. He is not just a Shepherd but a story teller. He has walked with us. He has baptized us and our children. He has given our first communions, married us, and buried some of us. You walked with us in each precious moment.
Pastor Frank and Deaconess Jan thank you! Thank you for sharing your lives with us. Thank you for being a part of ours. You are parts of the most magical moments in the lives of us all. How does one say good bye? How does one let go?
He has risen,
He is risen indeed!
Hallelujah.
Merry Christmas!
Enjoy the rest of your journey.
Love and Light,
Agoraphobia Gurl
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