Greetings,
Did Yoda actually have all of the answers? The wise Jedi
Master….Battling with my agoraphobia and anxiety I don’t often feel that the
force is on my side. Many times I feel like I am crying out for Old Ben,
unheard and misunderstood. This is really a piss poor analogy for my life. I am
not a Princess, I don’t have a light saber, or even a Wookie to call my own. I
am not even this big of a geek, however I do still have an undying love for
Luke Skywalker for whatever that is worth.
I optimistically thought I had a Jedi on my side, someone to
believe in me even if they were getting a paycheck to do so. I never really
expected my Jedi to “prepare” me for the “reality” of “you might never get
better”-“this might be it”. I apologize for my grammar, you will have to excuse
my I don’t give a fuck.
Not what I needed.
Not What I expected.
Not what I am willing to accept.
I deserve better.
I had faith in you Yoda. I wish you would have had a little
more faith in what could have been accomplished. Damn good thing that the
ladies room in the Millennium Falcon are squeaky clean as I spent a nice part
of the morning sitting on the floor sobbing like a baby. Swollen eyes and a red
nose for most of the day.
A tiny little part of me feels like crawling into a hole ,
cancelling everything and just giving up. However I will continue to fight even
if my Jedi doesn’t believe in me. I am still going to believe in me. I will not
give up. I deserve better. I will continue my journey.
Sometimes those we look to for support and comfort let us
down, but I guess we need to remember we are all just human.
Farewell My Yoda-
May The Force Be With You.
Love and Light-
Agoraphobia Gurl
“Fear is the path to the dark
side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.”-Yoda
No comments:
Post a Comment