IED

Greetings~

Crisp fall day or 80~Welcome to Wisconsin! I made a pot of chili, however that seems inappropriate for 80. Today the Bears and the Packers are playing, this is kind of the perfect day for a Wisconsin born and bred, I really don’t care much about the game, when I was getting tips I cared about the game! A Bloody Mary could possibly inspire me to care about the game….

IED-ever hear about it? Intermittent Explosive Disorder. This is actually something that can go hand and hand with an anxiety disorder (and create one for those living around it). IED is a disorder characterized by explosive outburst and anger.

“Anxiety itself is the activation of the fight/flight response in the body. It becomes a problem when your body activates the response for no reason, or the response is unable to go away. That creates a variety of unwanted physical and mental experiences that make it hard to control your quality of life.

But the fight/flight system is called that for a reason. Once it's activated, it causes people to react with a feeling of needing to flee, or a feeling of needing to fight. Because there are no dangers, most people experience the need to flee. Some people, however, feel an overwhelming desire to fight, and that may be one of the primary causes of anger from anxiety” (Calm Clinic, 2014). We pretty much know that-right? As a person suffering from agoraphobia or an anxiety disorder we hear all about fight/flight. Personally the anger aspect has not been something I have given much thought, but perhaps we should be thinking about it. Does it apply to us personally? Do we know someone with IED? Chances are yes.

What to do about this anger, well the obvious starting point might be anger management classes. This is something your therapist can help you with.  Like anything else, sometimes it helps us to write it down, track the triggers! Journaling, I am a big fan of journaling in general it is a place to put your feelings. Perhaps when we feel this anger coming on we need to leave the situation, and if you know someone is trying to leave the situation, ALLOW THEM TO LEAVE. What is the point in trying to make a point to someone who is not even being rational? Let them go and calm down. Let them have some time before they full on explode. I am horrible at this, I think I am getting better as I get older but I will poke a bear with a stick to get my point across. Not always a smart move. If you are about to lose your cool-slow down and breath. Use our breathing techniques that we have learned in dealing with panic attacks and anxiety. You really can’t take it back once it falls out of your mouth-“STUPID” “LAZY” “WORTHLESS” those words can follow you for a life time. IED does not give us permission for bad behavior, if anything it should give us a kick in the ass to change!

Think before you speak. Think of the damage those words can do.

My Grandpa always made me feel like I was a Princess, all of my life. I got to spend the most time with him before he had his stroke(I wish my sisters were allotted that time too), the stroke changed him, but he still adored me(he adored us all). My little fat baby/toddler self was the most beautiful thing ever. Even when I did some fool thing, he would spin it into a positive. He lifted me up with his love and his words.

We probably all have that “other” relative-“You would be so pretty if you lost 20 lbs”. Can’t I be pretty now?  “You are always walking around with food-you are always putting something in your face” Hmmm-because I have been waiting on you all night SERVING YOU! Lets mix this up even more.

“STUPID”
“WORTHLESS”
“LAZY”
“STUPID”
“WORTHLESS”
“LAZY”…what does this do to the 5 year old –the 6 year old- the 10 year old? It sticks. It stays. It hurts. It changes the psyche.

Words can build you up-

You are smart!

You are AMAZING!

You are wonderful.

I LOVE YOU!

Anger happens but this is part of the disorder YOU MUST CONTROL. I have had moments as a parent I am not proud of. I have had moments as a spouse I am not proud of. I am not perfect, but life is messy enough-we don’t need to hurt our loved ones. Our children will get hurt out in this world without us having to help in the damaging of them. Watch your words. The people around you are watching them…and hearing them.

 

Love and Light!

Agoraphobia Gurl

 

 

 

 

Reference

Calm Clinic (2014) Anger- The Hidden Anxiety Emotion. Retrieved from: http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/symptoms/anger

 

 

Rollercoaster

Greetings~

I feel a bit like I am drowning. Fall is officially here-which for me begins the dark time. If you follow me you know this is not my best time. I have so much around me that needs to be done, needs to be scheduled, I need to really start thinking about doubling up and doing my online classes and brick and mortar too-but can I? It is not just the financial responsibility can I really guaranty that I am going to get myself to that brick and mortar without too much stress and drama. Stress and drama winds me up in the hospital.

Does fall just bring chaos? Everything seems like a rollercoaster, mostly a bad rollercoaster right now. Yes we have some amazing positives! Pastor Angela Khabeb accepted the call to Ascension. Pastor Angela brings a new flavor and a new spark! As I have been focusing on what we are losing in the church I have a fresh new perspective of what might be some amazing changes in the church. It was wonderful seeing Pastor Bickel who shared in the 65^th Anniversary of the church! It was wonderful looking around seeing familiar faces old and new. The folk choir-who is that man on the piano? Where has he been all my life? Babies being born, nuptials happening or at least being planned-congratulations Megan and Michael, school starting, young adults leaving the nest and going off to college-bittersweet. My Mr. S. is recovering well from his surgery and out and about and celebrating his birthday! AMEN!

Still around us so many bad and unspeakable things-so it does not feel just like my darkness, it feels a bit like an overall darkness. After a long battle with cancer we lost our sister Tracy (I use “sister” in that biblical sense) leaving behind Matt and Madison and many other friends and relatives who loved and cherished her.

I see unspeakable things, things that make you question your faith or people or the morality of the world in general. I see little eyes scared of people that they should be able to trust. I see hands being placed and words being said that can’t be undone.

“I, take________ to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”-I am no pro at this, I can speak from mistakes, I can speak from age, and wisdom. I do know that at no point should hands ever be laid in a harmful or hurtful manner.

“I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.”

When you cherish you do so without fists or a wicked tongue. Sometimes a wicked tongue is worse (again wisdom and experience prevail here), a bruise or broken bone may heal but the words don’t ever really go away. Respect…

I sign onto Facebook and you can see so much petty and trifling behavior-whatever your religion or lack of. Whatever your belief system, whatever your faith we all basically have one common core. Love one another. Harm None! Respect!

I see people, I talk to people-why do I only have three followers? People write me. People read me. I see a lot of people struggling right now with anxiety, agoraphobia, bad thoughts…I am here. I am here as much as I possibly can be, but reach out to others. Try to take that step. Statistically we know this only gets worse around the holidays so we need to rally into some kind of pre holiday sanity preparation! Keep on trying. Keep on pushing. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Love and Light,

Agoraphobia Gurl

Today-and we should do this every day-take the time to make a list of what you are thankful for. It sounds a bit I don’t want to say lame-but lame, but thinking about gratitude can spread. Thinking about the have’s instead of the have not’s can make life just a little bit easier. Sometimes we feel alone and we feel like we have nothing-but usually this really is not the case. The bright sunshine. A good friend. Music-really simple things we can be grateful for!

Chiari Malformation

Greetings!

Fall is around the corner and football season has begun! The kids are back to school and much time is spent in donating to our local food pantries (which keep on giving) and giving to great causes such as ALS but I want to shine some light on something you may not have heard about, Chiari Malformation. “Chiari malformations (CMs) are structural defects in the cerebellum, the part of the brain that controls balance. Normally the cerebellum and parts of the brain stem sit in an indented space at the lower rear of the skull, above the foramen magnum (a funnel-like opening to the spinal canal). When part of the cerebellum is located below the foramen magnum, it is called a Chiari malformation.

CMs may develop when the bony space is smaller than normal, causing the cerebellum and brain stem to be pushed downward into the foramen magnum and into the upper spinal canal. The resulting pressure on the cerebellum and brain stem may affect functions controlled by these areas and block the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF)— the clear liquid that surrounds and cushions the brain and spinal cord—to and from the brain” (National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, 2014).

What does this have to so with agoraphobia? Nothing directly but chronic pain and distress can certainly cause a bounty of anguish. Which in turn chronic pain and anguish can make you a little crazy.

CM’s was actually in an episode of HOUSE-if Gregory House is giving the diagnosis it is usually some weird exotic disease few people have heard of…so really this is some serious sh#%!

“Individuals with CM may complain of neck pain, balance problems, muscle weakness, numbness or other abnormal feelings in the arms or legs, dizziness, vision problems, difficulty swallowing, ringing or buzzing in the ears, hearing loss, vomiting, insomnia, depression, or headache made worse by coughing or straining. Hand coordination and fine motor skills may be affected. Symptoms may change for some individuals, depending on the buildup of CSF and resulting pressure on the tissues and nerves. Persons with a Type I CM may not have symptoms. Adolescents and adults who have CM but no symptoms initially may, later in life, develop signs of the disorder. Infants may have symptoms from any type of CM and may have difficulty swallowing, irritability when being fed, excessive drooling, a weak cry, gagging or vomiting, arm weakness, a stiff neck, breathing problems, developmental delays, and an inability to gain weight.”  (National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke, 2014). Not pretty and hard to pin point a diagnosis. In addition people suffering from CM can also suffer from hydrocephalus, spina bifida, and an overall long list of un pleasantries.

BRAIN
P.O. Box 5801
Bethesda, MD 20824
(800) 352-9424
http://www.ninds.nih.gov

 

http://www.conquerchiari.org/index.html

 

http://www.chiarifund.org/

 

“I ran and ran and ran every day, and I acquired this sense of determination, this sense of spirit that I would never, never give up, no matter what else happened.” -  Wilma Rudolph

Love and Light!

Agoraphobia Gurl

This one is for you Lisa!

 

 

 

Reference

National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke(2014). Retrieved from: http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/chiari/detail_chiari.htm