Rollercoaster

Greetings~

I feel a bit like I am drowning. Fall is officially here-which for me begins the dark time. If you follow me you know this is not my best time. I have so much around me that needs to be done, needs to be scheduled, I need to really start thinking about doubling up and doing my online classes and brick and mortar too-but can I? It is not just the financial responsibility can I really guaranty that I am going to get myself to that brick and mortar without too much stress and drama. Stress and drama winds me up in the hospital.

Does fall just bring chaos? Everything seems like a rollercoaster, mostly a bad rollercoaster right now. Yes we have some amazing positives! Pastor Angela Khabeb accepted the call to Ascension. Pastor Angela brings a new flavor and a new spark! As I have been focusing on what we are losing in the church I have a fresh new perspective of what might be some amazing changes in the church. It was wonderful seeing Pastor Bickel who shared in the 65^th Anniversary of the church! It was wonderful looking around seeing familiar faces old and new. The folk choir-who is that man on the piano? Where has he been all my life? Babies being born, nuptials happening or at least being planned-congratulations Megan and Michael, school starting, young adults leaving the nest and going off to college-bittersweet. My Mr. S. is recovering well from his surgery and out and about and celebrating his birthday! AMEN!

Still around us so many bad and unspeakable things-so it does not feel just like my darkness, it feels a bit like an overall darkness. After a long battle with cancer we lost our sister Tracy (I use “sister” in that biblical sense) leaving behind Matt and Madison and many other friends and relatives who loved and cherished her.

I see unspeakable things, things that make you question your faith or people or the morality of the world in general. I see little eyes scared of people that they should be able to trust. I see hands being placed and words being said that can’t be undone.

“I, take________ to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.”-I am no pro at this, I can speak from mistakes, I can speak from age, and wisdom. I do know that at no point should hands ever be laid in a harmful or hurtful manner.

“I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will trust you and respect you, laugh with you and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live.”

When you cherish you do so without fists or a wicked tongue. Sometimes a wicked tongue is worse (again wisdom and experience prevail here), a bruise or broken bone may heal but the words don’t ever really go away. Respect…

I sign onto Facebook and you can see so much petty and trifling behavior-whatever your religion or lack of. Whatever your belief system, whatever your faith we all basically have one common core. Love one another. Harm None! Respect!

I see people, I talk to people-why do I only have three followers? People write me. People read me. I see a lot of people struggling right now with anxiety, agoraphobia, bad thoughts…I am here. I am here as much as I possibly can be, but reach out to others. Try to take that step. Statistically we know this only gets worse around the holidays so we need to rally into some kind of pre holiday sanity preparation! Keep on trying. Keep on pushing. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Love and Light,

Agoraphobia Gurl

Today-and we should do this every day-take the time to make a list of what you are thankful for. It sounds a bit I don’t want to say lame-but lame, but thinking about gratitude can spread. Thinking about the have’s instead of the have not’s can make life just a little bit easier. Sometimes we feel alone and we feel like we have nothing-but usually this really is not the case. The bright sunshine. A good friend. Music-really simple things we can be grateful for!