Anxiety and taking a trip down memory lane…. Part 2

Anxiety and taking a trip down memory lane….

Part 2

Greetings,

I feel obligated to share the outcome of my trip down memory lane, I really just want to crawl in bed but I have these moments where I know I should say something and they slip away…and I just can’t let this slip away.

1.       Mean girls-they stay mean girls!

2.       I never got that chance to make amends to that other blonde.

3.       Pete-he is still Pete. He has beautiful children and a lovely wife. I am happy for him.

I was kind of hoping for a different outcome on the Pete thing. Like I have had those moments. We went to school with these Italian boys, Tony and Tom. For the longest time Tony and I…I just don’t know. I don’t know what happened. Why we started fighting. Hell-I know he thought I was cute around 7^th grade-and they were hot Italian boys! In our early 20’s we happened to work together at the Chancery. I was pissed they hired him. As I worked next to him, occasionally giving him the stink eye, I was trying to figure out WHY we didn’t like each other. What the heck happened? Finally one day, I asked him. Do you know why we don’t like each other? He didn’t know either. Well, if you can’t remember why you don’t like someone it is obviously time to move on and let it go. We did. We have lost touch, but after reacquainting, we partied, we laughed, I even have pictures-somewhere. I guess I was hoping for something closer to those lines than what I got. However me and Pete were never friends, and honestly-I don’t think we were meant to be. I am sorry would have been nice. I can’t believe I wasted vomit on this man!

So I went. I made it! I drank way too much. However we shall save the self-medication discussion for another day. I lived. I got to meet Dawns sister-way cool. Wish I would have made it to see the bro. I got to meet a bunch of really eclectic and wonderful people. I got to see people I have not seen in years. I got to live. Yesterday I did not let anxiety win. I won.

Love and Light-

Agoraphobia Gurl

Anxiety and taking a trip down memory lane….

Anxiety and taking a trip down memory lane….

Part 1

Greetings,
 

Who knew-after all of these years Pete Whetstone (not his real name) could still make me throw up, make me want to “cut class” or in this case the graduation party. I think my ownership of HIM should be stronger. I have in fact kicked his ass. I ripped his shirt while pummeling him into a locker, so why am I throwing up? Probably he should be throwing up in fear of my all mighty kickasstitude. He was a bully. He was mean to me, he was cruel and tormented me. I kicked his as three times-so maybe he was not the smartest fellow. Like don’t fuck with the dog if you know you are going to get bit. Yes I am the one throwing up.

So I am watching the clock in sweet anticipation. I want to do this for my friend. I want to show up at her sons graduation because she is important to me. I want to support her. I let anxiety win at her daughters graduation. I am not going to let anxiety win this time. I need hope. Literally I need HOPE. I am doing this out of respect for Hope. You people have to wonder what drugs I am on some times as I talk in such cryptic coding. Hell-I know what I am talking about. Speaking of cryptic coding if anyone figures out the reference to Whetstone-who he really is, and why I used Whetstone….drinks are on me!

That blonde, you know the one. The one that is not me. You know, the hot one. You know the one every guy fell head over heels for, maybe-just maybe I will get to see her too. I don’t dislike her. She is not particularly fond of me-long story. Partially my fault and I sure as hell can own that. Maybe if I see her I can try and make amends.

Why does Dawn have to be so damn popular? She is so social. She still talks to like everyone. People randomly show up at her door…and she is cool with that. My circle is much smaller, and I hate it being invaded.

I was talking to Dean and he said he felt a little apprehensive when we had to go to a similar function with his friends from school and to remember we are all adults now. That is in part true, many of us are adults now but not always the case. Sometimes the “means girls” grow up and are still the “mean girls”.

So can I do it….I think I can. I think I can. I think I can!

If not…I can always kick Whetstone’s ass-yet again. (Really I would not do that out of respect for my friend and her boys special day). I am just being silly.

I will let you know how it goes.

Just remember if you don’t push outside of your comfort zone-you will miss out on a lot of things. You will miss out on life.

I think I can!

Wish me luck!

Love and Light-

Agoraphobia Gurl