Hello Kittens,
Remember to hug a vet today! Give thanks to those who have served our country.
It has actually been a pretty good weekend here. Yesterday we had a cookout. The kids
played in the pool and the sprinkler, the girls were rolling around in the mud, basketball was being played, people were visiting, and of course we were eating. I think everyone had a good time.
I know the kids had fun. I wish I could post some pictures to Facebook, but it won't let me.
My parents have been in South Dakota for the last week so we are all going head over to Mom and Dads for lunch today. I am looking forward to hearing about the trip and seeing them.
Hope you do something for yourself today. Try not to stress, just go have some fun. One step at a time.
Love and Light!
Monday, May 28, 2012
Friday, May 25, 2012
Relationships
Why does everything have to be so complicated? I struggle every day with the most simple of bullshit. I got nervous today while I was sitting outside of my house cooking on the grill by myself. After the day I have had you would think by myself would be a good thing.
How is it I always manage to surround myself with such bullshit? How can some one be so kind one minute to one person and so hurtful and unfeeling moments later to some one else. Why live with anger and rage all the time? Damn good question. Would you not rather feel happy, or feel something aside from being pissed off all the time? It is getting old, but if I keep cleaning house who will be left?
Hope you are all having a better day and enjoy your holiday weekend. Try and go do something fun if you are part of my agoraphobic clan, certainly every one else will be out doing something fun! Remember those who have faught for us and those who have fallen for us.
Love and Light.
How is it I always manage to surround myself with such bullshit? How can some one be so kind one minute to one person and so hurtful and unfeeling moments later to some one else. Why live with anger and rage all the time? Damn good question. Would you not rather feel happy, or feel something aside from being pissed off all the time? It is getting old, but if I keep cleaning house who will be left?
Hope you are all having a better day and enjoy your holiday weekend. Try and go do something fun if you are part of my agoraphobic clan, certainly every one else will be out doing something fun! Remember those who have faught for us and those who have fallen for us.
Love and Light.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Just think people!
Good Morning Kittens,
As per usual I have been neglecting you. I have been meaning to write. I actually have something totally non agoraphobic related that has been stirring around in my mind.
As you know I have been attending online classes, which is going pretty well. I am meeting all kinds of people from all over the country, I even have classes with people in the military who are stationed
every where. It is a lot of fun having the opportunity to interact with all of these fine people.
So here is my bitchy thought of the day...
WHY you name your baby THAT? I totally understand being hormonal which makes you crazy. Well it made me a little crazy, but you don't name your child Nova because the back seat of a Nova is where Mama's egg was fertilized! Do you feel me? Nova isn't even so bad, just one true example of what I personally find to be a little insane.
I went to school with a guy named Thor, fortunately for him, he was that good looking. You name your baby some thing like Thor you are giving him something he has to live up to or he will get mocked and possibly his ass whipped. Thor probably could have used an ass whooping because he was a tool, but he was hot.
Now what I find to be totally unacceptable is the fools who are naming the baby after what they like to drink. Tangueray...really???? Amaretto, what is his or her middle name going to be, Stone Sour?
Yes I know, not my business. Why do you care? I just don't think it is right. I am meeting people trying to enter a professional field, and it is not any fault of their own, but it doesn't leave a good impression.
I had a moment I hate to own up to. I was certain I was going to have a girl. I just knew it. Her name would have been Katherine after my Mom and I would have called her Katie, well Katie ended up being a boy. I had not thought of one boy name. I was randomly trying to come up with something. My husband liked Joshua, no too many Joshua's at that time. I thought maybe Edward after my Grandpa, but that is such a big name for a baby...in a moment of weakness and desperation, it really only was a moment. It was a flash in time, like 2 seconds. I thought we could name him Bailey. Not because of Irish Cream mind you, but because it rhymed with our last name. Yes every little boy needs a name that rhymes right....JEEZ! Thank goodness it was a momentary lapse and I had come to my senses. Talk about a getting your ass kicked name.
Just think about what you are doing. This little person is going to be the most important and wonderful thing in your life, so don't name them after where you conceived or after what you were drinking when you conceived. Just my opinion.
Love and Light.
As per usual I have been neglecting you. I have been meaning to write. I actually have something totally non agoraphobic related that has been stirring around in my mind.
As you know I have been attending online classes, which is going pretty well. I am meeting all kinds of people from all over the country, I even have classes with people in the military who are stationed
every where. It is a lot of fun having the opportunity to interact with all of these fine people.
So here is my bitchy thought of the day...
WHY you name your baby THAT? I totally understand being hormonal which makes you crazy. Well it made me a little crazy, but you don't name your child Nova because the back seat of a Nova is where Mama's egg was fertilized! Do you feel me? Nova isn't even so bad, just one true example of what I personally find to be a little insane.
I went to school with a guy named Thor, fortunately for him, he was that good looking. You name your baby some thing like Thor you are giving him something he has to live up to or he will get mocked and possibly his ass whipped. Thor probably could have used an ass whooping because he was a tool, but he was hot.
Now what I find to be totally unacceptable is the fools who are naming the baby after what they like to drink. Tangueray...really???? Amaretto, what is his or her middle name going to be, Stone Sour?
Yes I know, not my business. Why do you care? I just don't think it is right. I am meeting people trying to enter a professional field, and it is not any fault of their own, but it doesn't leave a good impression.
I had a moment I hate to own up to. I was certain I was going to have a girl. I just knew it. Her name would have been Katherine after my Mom and I would have called her Katie, well Katie ended up being a boy. I had not thought of one boy name. I was randomly trying to come up with something. My husband liked Joshua, no too many Joshua's at that time. I thought maybe Edward after my Grandpa, but that is such a big name for a baby...in a moment of weakness and desperation, it really only was a moment. It was a flash in time, like 2 seconds. I thought we could name him Bailey. Not because of Irish Cream mind you, but because it rhymed with our last name. Yes every little boy needs a name that rhymes right....JEEZ! Thank goodness it was a momentary lapse and I had come to my senses. Talk about a getting your ass kicked name.
Just think about what you are doing. This little person is going to be the most important and wonderful thing in your life, so don't name them after where you conceived or after what you were drinking when you conceived. Just my opinion.
Love and Light.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Saturday Night
Hello Kittens,
Summer is just around the corner today was so flipping hot!!!I can't do the heat any more, my meds and the heat don't do well together. My face turns beet red, and I have a round face so I look like a bouncy ball from phy ed back in the day.
I didn't go out today. I didn't do much of anything. I was planning on doing that car show with Dean but he wanted to go with Sam and I wanted to give them guys time. Well, as per usual Sam bailed on him. I took a nap .I do have to get out of the house tomorrow. I have some shopping to do and I am getting a bit stir crazy. I miss the days where I could just get up and go, no thought given just grab my bag and head down town. Saturday was my downtown day back in the day. I would go to the Farmers Market and the bakery. Longing for my old self...I need to stop thinking about who I was and start embracing who I am, otherwise I am just going to spiral into a depression and just never leave my bed. Bonus, I can do school from my bed, but I don't want to go backwards. I am usually feeling a little perkier this time of year. So my fellow agoraphobics, any suggestions?
Love and Light.
One Step at a Time.
Summer is just around the corner today was so flipping hot!!!I can't do the heat any more, my meds and the heat don't do well together. My face turns beet red, and I have a round face so I look like a bouncy ball from phy ed back in the day.
I didn't go out today. I didn't do much of anything. I was planning on doing that car show with Dean but he wanted to go with Sam and I wanted to give them guys time. Well, as per usual Sam bailed on him. I took a nap .I do have to get out of the house tomorrow. I have some shopping to do and I am getting a bit stir crazy. I miss the days where I could just get up and go, no thought given just grab my bag and head down town. Saturday was my downtown day back in the day. I would go to the Farmers Market and the bakery. Longing for my old self...I need to stop thinking about who I was and start embracing who I am, otherwise I am just going to spiral into a depression and just never leave my bed. Bonus, I can do school from my bed, but I don't want to go backwards. I am usually feeling a little perkier this time of year. So my fellow agoraphobics, any suggestions?
Love and Light.
One Step at a Time.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Friday Night
Hello Kittens;
It has been a long week it is almost 10:00 pm and I am shocked that I am still awake. Lily was here today, and we ran some errands. I need to get more done but she was a bit distracting which makes me twonkie and my anxiety flares up.
Number One Nephew came over today to hang, he had a good time and did not want to go home. I like that. I like that the boys want to be here, makes me feel like I am doing something right.
Tomorrow is a car show, not sure if I will be going, might just stay home and work on home work and let it be a boys day.
I got to sit and visit with my baby sister tonight, we got in bakery mode. My fault I brought it up. Can an agoraphobic girl and her sister open a bakery??? School is certainly giving me a kick in the ass seeing possibilities again, Reminding me of who I once was and what I am capable of.
It doesn't matter how old you are or what your limitations are you can still dream and you can still have goals. Even if they are baby steps, put them on paper so you can hold yourself accountable and see what you can make happen. You can still make things happen.
One step at a time.
Love and Light.
It has been a long week it is almost 10:00 pm and I am shocked that I am still awake. Lily was here today, and we ran some errands. I need to get more done but she was a bit distracting which makes me twonkie and my anxiety flares up.
Number One Nephew came over today to hang, he had a good time and did not want to go home. I like that. I like that the boys want to be here, makes me feel like I am doing something right.
Tomorrow is a car show, not sure if I will be going, might just stay home and work on home work and let it be a boys day.
I got to sit and visit with my baby sister tonight, we got in bakery mode. My fault I brought it up. Can an agoraphobic girl and her sister open a bakery??? School is certainly giving me a kick in the ass seeing possibilities again, Reminding me of who I once was and what I am capable of.
It doesn't matter how old you are or what your limitations are you can still dream and you can still have goals. Even if they are baby steps, put them on paper so you can hold yourself accountable and see what you can make happen. You can still make things happen.
One step at a time.
Love and Light.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Quicky
Hello Kittens,
What a beautiful day! I have been a busy girl. I had a beautiful Mother's Day. It is always wonderful spending time with the family. Monday my Son went up north with Grandpa, so I miss him terribly.
I really do. At least I have school and some library books to keep my mind busy. Today my friend Annie is coming over for a visit and bringing her little man Lennon, and one of my nephews is coming over after school. I don't think I will be doing any out of my safe zone activities today, but I have been. I had to run several errands yesterday. What I should be doing is cleaning my house, burning some calories and being productive all at once. This is important too, this is my soul food. Where I can unload all of my crazy episodes and feelings.
Are you doing any thing to fill your soul and charge your battery?
Love and Light!
What a beautiful day! I have been a busy girl. I had a beautiful Mother's Day. It is always wonderful spending time with the family. Monday my Son went up north with Grandpa, so I miss him terribly.
I really do. At least I have school and some library books to keep my mind busy. Today my friend Annie is coming over for a visit and bringing her little man Lennon, and one of my nephews is coming over after school. I don't think I will be doing any out of my safe zone activities today, but I have been. I had to run several errands yesterday. What I should be doing is cleaning my house, burning some calories and being productive all at once. This is important too, this is my soul food. Where I can unload all of my crazy episodes and feelings.
Are you doing any thing to fill your soul and charge your battery?
Love and Light!
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Natasha goes smash
Hello Kittens,
In my last posting I was going to draw into my inner Natasha and walk over to my fav coffee venue and get myself a latte. As I was rushing from my work area to the living room I apparently thought I could walk directly into a wall, well it wasn't the wall, it was actually the grated vent that sticks out of the wall in my hall way. My little toe is still all purple, blue, and swollen, so no coffee for me.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit better and had some errands to run, so I did leave the house. I even stopped at a rummage sale. It was my idea and everything. I must of hurt my head when I injured my toe.
Today I want to pick up some flowers for my Mom. Tomorrow is Mother's Day people. Make sure we have done our Mom shopping! The Mom love has already begun in my house. My son has been trying to gift me all week. Which is typical, he is a great kid. I rented The Vow yesterday, I kind of love Rachel McAdams, my son watched it with me because it is Mother's Day weekend. Now that is some love. That is like asking a teenage boy to watch a Nicholas Sparks marathon, or a Lifetime movie. I didn't ask him to watch it with me, he just did.
Tomorrow we are going to my Mom's for Mother's Day. My sister is making quiche and french toast bake, don't ask me what that is. I really don't know. I hear it is very yummy.
Try to go out and do something you enjoy. One step at a time.
Love and Light.
In my last posting I was going to draw into my inner Natasha and walk over to my fav coffee venue and get myself a latte. As I was rushing from my work area to the living room I apparently thought I could walk directly into a wall, well it wasn't the wall, it was actually the grated vent that sticks out of the wall in my hall way. My little toe is still all purple, blue, and swollen, so no coffee for me.
Yesterday I was feeling a bit better and had some errands to run, so I did leave the house. I even stopped at a rummage sale. It was my idea and everything. I must of hurt my head when I injured my toe.
Today I want to pick up some flowers for my Mom. Tomorrow is Mother's Day people. Make sure we have done our Mom shopping! The Mom love has already begun in my house. My son has been trying to gift me all week. Which is typical, he is a great kid. I rented The Vow yesterday, I kind of love Rachel McAdams, my son watched it with me because it is Mother's Day weekend. Now that is some love. That is like asking a teenage boy to watch a Nicholas Sparks marathon, or a Lifetime movie. I didn't ask him to watch it with me, he just did.
Tomorrow we are going to my Mom's for Mother's Day. My sister is making quiche and french toast bake, don't ask me what that is. I really don't know. I hear it is very yummy.
Try to go out and do something you enjoy. One step at a time.
Love and Light.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Throw down the hammer
Hello Kittens,
"And there came a day, a day unlike any other... when Earth's mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat... to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand... on that day, The Avengers were born..."
So I took the kid to see The Avengers....YAY. Yes it was on a Wednesday at 11:00 am so that may make me seem less fierce. It still took 4 of Mommies special pills to get me in the door. Yes people actually go to the movie at 11:00 am. I have discovered Bistro Seating. I am not really sure how I feel about it. I like the concept, a server could bring me alcohol right to my comfy seat. It seemed pretty cool.
Smelling every ones food, not so great. I was getting the munchies in a big way. The movie was excellent, as I knew it would be. My favorite super hero is Captain America. I didn't even know about him till the movie came out last year, I think it was last year. Captain America is the true American hero. He wanted to be able to fight for his country, and fight for what was right and moral...AND he doesn't like bullies. I love Robert Downey Jr. and Tony Stark. I watch all the action/super hero movies as I am the Mom of a boy child, I have been anticipating the Avengers and it was a great marriage of the characters. I actually have to do a shout out to Mark Ruffalo and the amazing team behind the Hulk. I really was not crazy about the Hulk movies solo as I was raised in the tv watching Bill Bixby Hulk era. Comic Hulk and Bill Bixby Hulk or totally not the same thing. This movie brought it. Team Hulk brought Ruffalos face and expressions to the big green guy. Well done! Hulk SMASH!
I also love Stan Lee's cameo's. The man who makes little boys dreams come true.
I think today I am going to tap into my inner Natasha Romanoff/the Black Widow today, and venture out for some coffee.
Love and Light
So I feel guilty....
Thor you are a very pretty god.
Hawkeye I am still not exactly sure who the hell you are, but well done.
"And there came a day, a day unlike any other... when Earth's mightiest heroes found themselves united against a common threat... to fight the foes no single superhero could withstand... on that day, The Avengers were born..."
So I took the kid to see The Avengers....YAY. Yes it was on a Wednesday at 11:00 am so that may make me seem less fierce. It still took 4 of Mommies special pills to get me in the door. Yes people actually go to the movie at 11:00 am. I have discovered Bistro Seating. I am not really sure how I feel about it. I like the concept, a server could bring me alcohol right to my comfy seat. It seemed pretty cool.
Smelling every ones food, not so great. I was getting the munchies in a big way. The movie was excellent, as I knew it would be. My favorite super hero is Captain America. I didn't even know about him till the movie came out last year, I think it was last year. Captain America is the true American hero. He wanted to be able to fight for his country, and fight for what was right and moral...AND he doesn't like bullies. I love Robert Downey Jr. and Tony Stark. I watch all the action/super hero movies as I am the Mom of a boy child, I have been anticipating the Avengers and it was a great marriage of the characters. I actually have to do a shout out to Mark Ruffalo and the amazing team behind the Hulk. I really was not crazy about the Hulk movies solo as I was raised in the tv watching Bill Bixby Hulk era. Comic Hulk and Bill Bixby Hulk or totally not the same thing. This movie brought it. Team Hulk brought Ruffalos face and expressions to the big green guy. Well done! Hulk SMASH!
I also love Stan Lee's cameo's. The man who makes little boys dreams come true.
I think today I am going to tap into my inner Natasha Romanoff/the Black Widow today, and venture out for some coffee.
Love and Light
So I feel guilty....
Thor you are a very pretty god.
Hawkeye I am still not exactly sure who the hell you are, but well done.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Stormy Sunday
Good Morning!
The sky is turning dark and is grumbling, the storm is about to begin. I love thunder storms. I love the rain! I love every crackling sound.
As it turns out I am supposed to be at a car show right now. I did not go because I have to work on my paper for PSY202. I am pretty sure that is why I did not go. I really have not left the house at all this weekend. Agoraphobically speaking that is bad. I probably should have gone to the car show.
Yesterday I did have some fun. My friend Karla came over for retro tv(BJ and the Bear) and snacks.
It was great seeing her. We have known each other since middle school and she is by far one of the best people I know. She only lives on the other side of town. I need to try and get together with her more often.
Last night after Karla left I still needed to get my work out in so I did some aerobics, it was a good thing! Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and I burned some calories. It was probably the best work out since I have gotten out of the hospital, which means I am getting better. YAY ME!!!
I am going to go and enjoy this storm and get back to my paper.
Love and Light!
One step at a time!
The sky is turning dark and is grumbling, the storm is about to begin. I love thunder storms. I love the rain! I love every crackling sound.
As it turns out I am supposed to be at a car show right now. I did not go because I have to work on my paper for PSY202. I am pretty sure that is why I did not go. I really have not left the house at all this weekend. Agoraphobically speaking that is bad. I probably should have gone to the car show.
Yesterday I did have some fun. My friend Karla came over for retro tv(BJ and the Bear) and snacks.
It was great seeing her. We have known each other since middle school and she is by far one of the best people I know. She only lives on the other side of town. I need to try and get together with her more often.
Last night after Karla left I still needed to get my work out in so I did some aerobics, it was a good thing! Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and I burned some calories. It was probably the best work out since I have gotten out of the hospital, which means I am getting better. YAY ME!!!
I am going to go and enjoy this storm and get back to my paper.
Love and Light!
One step at a time!
Friday, May 4, 2012
Friday
Happy Friday!!
Any exciting plans this weekend? The Avengers is out this weekend and I would so love to take my kiddo but me on the opening weekend at the movie theater...probably not going to happen. Today we are taking Lily to Mr. G's farm so she can ride for awhile, she is excited.
Yesterday I (insert drum roll) went into Wal Mart by myself again!!! YAY me!!!
Have a safe and fun weekend. One step at a time.
Love and Light
Any exciting plans this weekend? The Avengers is out this weekend and I would so love to take my kiddo but me on the opening weekend at the movie theater...probably not going to happen. Today we are taking Lily to Mr. G's farm so she can ride for awhile, she is excited.
Yesterday I (insert drum roll) went into Wal Mart by myself again!!! YAY me!!!
Have a safe and fun weekend. One step at a time.
Love and Light
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Checking in...
Hello to you in my blogoshere,
Yes I am a bad little blogger, MIA again. Since my surgery I have been having such a hard time getting my meds regulated again. I am having a really hard time swallowing and keeping anything down, which might be okay if I were seeing some rapid weight loss or had the sudden ability to levitate or something cool, but no. Without my head meds being consistent I feel like I am spiraling backwards. Kind of why I have been MIA. I don't want to report that. I can't make it whimsical. I can't make it fun. Everything is just is a great big ball of suck right now. Last weekend for example, Lily wanted to go around the block on her bike, we got to the end of the street and I felt my chest tightening up, almost like the air was being sucked right out of my lungs. I had to tell her I didn't feel good and we had to head back, this does not go over well with a 4 year old. I tried a bit later to go with her in the other direction, which is usually a pretty safe direction, it was the way I took to physical therapy and my other hospital appointments, same thing. FRUSTRATING!
I have been working on a paper for school, it is a self reflection paper and you were given example questions you can use in the paper. One of the questions was how can you contribute to your community or to the world in the future, which got me to thinking about you. My other people who are afraid to leave the house, that send me private little messages. The people who read my blog for some kind of solace in our sameness. This is something I need to do, just because I am not in a good place right now doesn't mean I should not be posting. I guess even the more reason to post.
I have not really gone any where by myself, but I have been leaving with a safe person, so that is something. Hopefully I get my meds back under control and I start moving forward again, summer is coming and I want to have some fun.
Just remember don't give up, and just take one step at a time.
Love and Light
Yes I am a bad little blogger, MIA again. Since my surgery I have been having such a hard time getting my meds regulated again. I am having a really hard time swallowing and keeping anything down, which might be okay if I were seeing some rapid weight loss or had the sudden ability to levitate or something cool, but no. Without my head meds being consistent I feel like I am spiraling backwards. Kind of why I have been MIA. I don't want to report that. I can't make it whimsical. I can't make it fun. Everything is just is a great big ball of suck right now. Last weekend for example, Lily wanted to go around the block on her bike, we got to the end of the street and I felt my chest tightening up, almost like the air was being sucked right out of my lungs. I had to tell her I didn't feel good and we had to head back, this does not go over well with a 4 year old. I tried a bit later to go with her in the other direction, which is usually a pretty safe direction, it was the way I took to physical therapy and my other hospital appointments, same thing. FRUSTRATING!
I have been working on a paper for school, it is a self reflection paper and you were given example questions you can use in the paper. One of the questions was how can you contribute to your community or to the world in the future, which got me to thinking about you. My other people who are afraid to leave the house, that send me private little messages. The people who read my blog for some kind of solace in our sameness. This is something I need to do, just because I am not in a good place right now doesn't mean I should not be posting. I guess even the more reason to post.
I have not really gone any where by myself, but I have been leaving with a safe person, so that is something. Hopefully I get my meds back under control and I start moving forward again, summer is coming and I want to have some fun.
Just remember don't give up, and just take one step at a time.
Love and Light
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