Checking in...

Hello to you in my blogoshere,

Yes I am a bad little blogger, MIA again. Since my surgery I have been having such a hard time getting my meds regulated again. I am having a really hard time swallowing and keeping anything down, which might be okay if I were seeing some rapid weight loss or had the sudden ability to levitate or something cool, but no. Without my head meds being consistent I feel like I am spiraling backwards. Kind of why I have been MIA. I don't want to report that. I can't make it whimsical. I can't make it fun. Everything is just is a great big ball of suck right now. Last weekend for example, Lily wanted to go around the block on her bike, we got to the end of the street and I felt my chest tightening up, almost like the air was being sucked right out of my lungs. I had to tell her I didn't feel good and we had to head back, this does not go over well with a 4 year old. I tried a bit later to go with her in the other direction, which is usually a pretty safe direction, it was the way I took to physical therapy and my other hospital appointments, same thing. FRUSTRATING!
I have been working on a paper for school, it is a self reflection paper and you were given example questions you can use in the paper. One of the questions was how can you contribute to your community or to the world in the future, which got me to thinking about you. My other people who are afraid to leave the house, that send me private little messages. The people who read my blog for some kind of solace in our sameness. This is something I need to do, just because I am not in a good place right now doesn't mean I should not be posting. I guess even the more reason to post.
I have not really gone any where by myself, but I have been leaving with a safe person, so that is something. Hopefully I get my meds back under control and I start moving forward again, summer is coming and I want to have some fun.
Just remember don't give up, and just take one step at a time.

Love and Light