Thought for the day....(maybe two)

Greetings,

Memorial Day is here, many people have been enjoying a long weekend with camping and BBQ’s. However it is important to remember what this day is really about. Memorial Day is to honor and remember those who have died in military service. Make sure you take a moment to think about and thank those who have served our country. It is a time to honor the men and women who died in all wars.

I was not in the fun and frolic mode but I must share something I found to be inspirational. While attending a Memorial Service I had the opportunity to witness something you just don’t see every day. At least you generally don’t see it in my world. At this Memorial Service I saw this wonderful man supporting his ex-wife. She had lost her Father, and being an only child this wonderful man Larry came in support of her. He sat next to her in the front row. She was safely nestled between Larry and her son. Certainly Larry came because he loved Wayne. Certainly he came in support of Travis, but he was supporting his ex-wife. It was really a thing of beauty. As it is not in just these moments that he shows up in support of her, he will pick up her medication for her at the pharmacy, he will take her out for lunch-and they did not even have a child together. (I must say he certainly did many years of parenting). Most people can’t even co-parent together without drama. This couple maintains some kind of friendship, some kind of special bond that we could all learn from. I found it to be very inspiring!

“It is rare, it seems, that couples are able to hold onto a friendship and remain close while still moving on after the divorce. I am always impressed when I see couples who manage to stay friends, as it takes strength in character and an understanding of the bigger picture to rise above the hurt”(Meyers, 2011). I saw strength and character and it was a thing of beauty. Every couple has their own relationship dance. All you have to do is change your part in the dance.

Life is sticky and messy sometimes all we can do is try … attempt to make the best out of what time we have here on earth with the people we love.

Love and Light

Agoraphobia Gurl

Reference

Meyers PsyD, Seth (2011). Stay Friends after Divorce: Why, Coping, & Moving On

Avoiding friendship with your ex is often about denial. Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/insight-is-2020/201106/stay-friends-after-divorce-why-coping-moving

Father-Husband-Friend-Healer

Father-Husband-Friend-Healer-Sponsor-Coach-Neighbor-Mentor

Daddy-Grandpa…it always comes back to Daddy!

     A man with an amazing smile, bright blue eyes, and red hair. A man who could make you smile. A man who could make you feel like everything would be ok. A man who loved to garden and hot damn that man could cook. He made the most amazing shrimp creole! He endured hours of badge work, dancing and doing all kinds of crazy things with us girls. A man who took pride in his appearance. A man who took pride in all aspects of his life. It was very apparent early on his greatest pride and joy was his daughter Tamara. I think-actually I am pretty secure in knowing that he would say his greatest accomplishment was Tamara. Fast forward MANY years-welcome the little heart stealer Travis. He would be the next greatest joy and biggest accomplishment- that Grandparent thing takes things to a whole new level!

    Wayne and Judy met at Schultz Brothers-and the rest was history! They married at Saint Mary’s Church, and had a beautiful little girl named Tamara who they gave every ounce of love they had. Tammy and I met at Hadfield Elementary School on the first day of kindergarten in Mrs. Peterson’s class, for many years we became inseparable. We shared many firsts. We shared love and laughter. As time often does, we had ebbs and flows but she is my first best friend and I love her with all my heart. However this isn’t about me and Tammy.

The Sobye’s-we spent many hours sitting on that front stoop so I got to observe a thing or two. Tinsel is put on the Christmas tree in individual strands, you brew tea in the sun, and raw potatoes are in fact edible. Love is unconditional. Christmas Carols are a must. Family is sacred. Frozen Reese’s Peanut butter eggs are AWESOME! Don’t piss off an Italian. It was a house of love. I had my own little house of love in which Mrs. Sobye would occasionally grace us with her presence and Mom and Judy would sit on the swing on the front porch and laugh. Tammy and I would make crazy cupcakes and little pizzas. Good times with good friends create great memories. My Dad and Judy would get a little crazy too!

My son often says his relationship role models are my parents, because they have what a relationship is supposed to have. I am glad that my son has that. I am glad that he sees that. That is what the Sobye’s had too. They were a strong couple, best of friends, and were together till Judy took her last breath. Love is unconditional. Family is sacred.

Wayne grieved and found the ability to smile and love life again, not only from the love and support of family and friends but from his beloved Fred. I remember the day I met Fred. It was in a Super America, I had not seen “my Mister” in a very long time and I saw him and I started to sob-just sob! I introduced him to my son and Mr. Sobye gave me that award winning smile and a big hug. I was a spectacle! I created a spectacle-and Fred still lets me in the house! You fellas traveled, dined, and enjoyed life. You shared laughter. I am grateful to you.

Wayne passed away peacefully on Sunday, May 10, 2015, at the age of 73 years. Loving father of Tamara and proud grandfather of Travis. Very special friend of Fred. Survived by sisters, brothers, nieces, nephews, other relatives and friends.

    

Travis referred to his Grandparents as his best friends and that is truly a testament to GREATNESS! When a teenager or young adult still carves out that time and desires to spend that time, because it is so precious with the parents or Grandparents-something was done right!

A house of love built on a firm foundation.

 My Dearest Mr. Sobye-I am sorry I couldn’t get those chocolate chip cookies to you in time. One last I love you till we meet again. You will be missed. You are already missed. You have touched the lives of many. You have made a difference in this world by making it a better place. I am so honored to have known you. I will try and keep an eye on Tammy and remind her she is loved and treasured. I will remind her the importance of Christmas carols, skin care, and to brew her tea in the sun. I will remind her she is not alone. I will remind her it is ok to grieve in any manner she needs to and I will try to help her pick up the pieces when the time comes. Love is unconditional and family is sacred.

A Memorial Visitation will be held on Friday, May 22, from 4:00 PM until the time of a celebration of his life at 6:00 PM at CHURCH AND CHAPEL FUNERAL HOME, 380 Bluemound Rd. (corner of Hwy. J and JJ, south of I-94), Waukesha.

Dance in the heavens-laugh with Judy, Sally, and those you love!

Love and Light-

Agoraphobia Gurl-Laura

McProm and other Assorted Shenanigans

Greetings!

What a beautiful day here in Wisconsin! The sun was shining, it was the first day of the Farmers Market and I was actually out and about participating in life. I ran a few errands in the morning-like I had to visit my mushroom fella and Addictive Pretzels at the Farmers Market. Went out afterwards with my Mom and my son. We went to Comic Book Day at Neptune’s-I got to touch Thor’s hammer!

That’s right-be jealous: )

Agoraphobia Gurl was on point and on the town! We ran some more assorted errands- we even went bowling, had I been golfing my score would have rocked! I guess what matters is I made it out and I rocked!

We did have a freaky experience in the McDonald’s-like a hoard of Prom goers randomly entered the McDonalds. I was standing by myself and I began to have an anxiety attack as it felt as if I were being swarmed by Disney Princess’! So I guess it was my freaky experience as no one was freaking but me. Several people left-like the non-Disney Prom crowd, but I worked it. I did my breathing. I did my breathing. I stayed focused and it was ok. I was ok. Leave it to me-Disney Princess Pre Prom Anxiety Attack-true story!

I asked the Gal behind the counter if this was normal and apparently yes pre and post prom McDonalds is the hot spot-my son plans to return next year at prom-they were really lovely!

So I guess the moral of the day is LIVE LIVE LIVE- try and jump out of that fishbowl and get some life on!!! Inside of each of us lives a little bit of a Super Hero-You Got This!

Love and Light-

Agoraphobia Gurl