Sunday, April 13, 2014

A little girl walking on the edge of the world...


Greetings,

Life just seems to spin more and more out of control. Still loving my abnormal psych class-I become a little crazier the more I read : )

Having a very hard time leaving the house. Went to a birthday party yesterday with Dean and I started contemplating drinking around 10 am (the party was at noon).  This seems the easiest way to control my anxiety and I realize it is a horrible way to control my anxiety. I was physically shaking before we left…it is spring. This is supposed to be getting easier…just don’t know any more.

Financial Aid is still an issue-like the lack of…life- just one little break please. No breaks just more and more drama. I am so sick of drama. I am so sick of being scared of everything and worrying about everything. Feeling myself slipping further and further away…

I have been watching The Game of Thrones-didn’t read the books really didn’t know what I was in for. Not for the faint of heart…honestly not something I would normally watch. Extremely violent and extremely sexual, I kind of find it creepy. However I need some Daenerys Targaryen energy! A little girl walking on the edge of the world…and kicking some ass. I never really had the desire to be the Dragon Queen before(shout out to Eileen-you hold the true title) but I need some of that. I really need to stop comparing my life to fiction. Sybil asking to be Khaleesi! Sybil could use a ride off in the sunset with Khal Drogo...oh hell Sybil could just  use the ride on Khal Drogo…I am trying to find my inner Khaleesi-my inner Daenerys Targaryen. Not a Queen a Khaleesi! I just can’t seem to find her-my fight is gone. (If you actually understood this I might be concerned)

The cast really is eclectic and I have now a rather great fondness for Peter Dinklage and Tyrion Lannister (not a fan of The House of Lannister).

So you have it…Agoraphobia Gurl not doing so well. Contentment  in the fish bowl? When I grow up I want to be Khaleesi…or maybe Drew Barrymore in an Adam Sandler movie. Strong, happy, normal, finding my way back to me again…I don’t think that is asking too much is it?

Love and Light!

Not a Queen a Khaleesi!

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