Still in limbo...

Good Morning-

Since I am in academic limbo this leaves me with some free time, now if only I had some inspirational words to share. I did make my appointment with Doctor Bob yesterday. Generally I talk about making my appointment and end up doing it two or three months later.

I attempted to locate my Student Advisor-so no luck- I could have probably talked to the Twinkie, but too many hands in the pot spoils the soup, well and I don’t think Twinkie is the brightest little candle.

Physical therapy was good. I received a massage for a good half hour if not longer, you could really feel the difference between the left side of my body and the right side of my body. It felt like a slab of cement was under my skin on the left side. It was very interesting feeling the muscles twerking, for the lack of a better term under her finger tips. It felt amazing when I left! I walked around the hospital for a little bit. I did not go in the gift shop, they have really cute jewelry-it is a bit of a danger zone for me, I looked around the cafeteria, I went to the coffee kiosk and got myself a sugar free caramel latte, I bought a newspaper and came home. Several hours later I was pretty sure that my back was in fact giving birth to a demon spawn so I took some pain meds and laid on the heating pad. I have been assured this is a normal part of the adjustment process.

 Take wrong turns. Talk to strangers. Open unmarked doors. And if you see a group of people in a field, go find out what they are doing. Do things without always knowing how they’ll turn out. -Randall Munroe

This is something all of us living in fear need to strive for. Even if it seems like the smallest of baby steps it is a step forward in a positive direction! Can you think of little steps that might lead you in the right path? If you do what you need, you’re surviving. If you do what you want, you’re living. Some of us are barely in survival mode, locked away in the house afraid to step out and get the mail. Wouldn’t it be nice to just live again and be free! The freedom to not over analyze every time you have to walk out the door-can I- will I?

I have a chance-an opportunity to do something with my friend Dawn- this is something we talked about when we were 15(and damn I could have done  it when I was 15), we wrote music about it. It would require two days in Minnesota. Tons of people and my only safety net would be Dawn-which she is a damn good safety net, but I am pretty crazy. So I struggle and I struggle. I want to but I don’t think I can…and remembering when I could just pisses me off. Once upon a time I could have thrown on something sexy, packed an overnight bag and hit the road. I should be with her- I AM THE BLONDE! I am the attitude, I am the sexy, I got her back. I am the blonde-not that other mousy chick.

“There's 2 things we can't stand
One's a jive talk man
The other's a jive talk man with no money
Can U dig it?”

-Vanity 6

Can you believe it is the 35^th anniversary of Purple Rain? I saw that opening day at Capitol Court. Back when my  heart and soul was free-before I was broken. When I still had a touch of a stupid streak!

 

“Honey I know, I know, I know times are changing
It's time we all reach out 4 something new
That means u 2
U say u want a leader
But u can't seem 2 make up your mind
I think u better close it
And let me guide u 2 the purple rain

Purple rain Purple rain
Purple rain Purple rain”

-Prince

Here is to finding your inner stupid streak! Here is to dancing in the rain(purple or other)! Here is to wild random road trips. Here is to finding your way back to you…don’t stop trying!

Love and Light!                                             

Agoraphobia Gurl