To suck or to not suck....

Greetings-

A gentleman, like a real live living breathing gentleman started to help me on with my coat. I stood and looked at him in total confusion, not understanding WHY he was holding my coat. I am old enough to get this conceptually, but the actual act was baffling. I stood and looked at him like a deer in head lights-TRUTH. Some days I am like that proverbial bull in the china store-TRUTH. I lack total grace and tact at most moments-TRUTH. (Stop laughing friends and family). I “had” to dance with this Gentleman at my sister’s wedding, why do I say “had”, because this Gentleman could be on like Dancing with the Stars and I am still doing that 80’s back and forth shuffle-kind of like Carlton. I apologize if you do not get that reference. I am pretty sure I actually stepped on that man at my sister’s wedding and I can’t follow a lead….back to that lacking in grace thing.

I have been thinking about this for almost a full week now, I could think of one other Gentleman, he is a real live Southern Gentleman. I like Southern Gentleman, the accent gets me every time. When we actually got to meet for the very first time in person (he is a family friend-more like an extended relative) when he said, “It is so nice to see those pretty blue eyes in person” you could have knocked me over with a feather.

So we have established Stan and Dennis are Gentleman, and Sharon and Barb are lucky! (Both couples are WONDERFUL to each other and are blessed to have one another).

I have tried to raise my son to be a gentleman, to open doors for a lady, to Sir and Ma’am when appropriate, to treat women with respect, and hopefully I have been successful in this, for the most part I am pretty certain I have been.

So as I have been pondering the “what is wrong” with society today I have come to some conclusions. Good old fashioned values are really not dead, some of them have just been misplaced. In some cases as a woman, especially the modern soap box standing man bashing woman, (I am not a man bashing woman-furthest thing from) we thought we could and should put our own coats on, and open our own doors, and rid ourselves of all of those “antiquated” notions. I for one like those antiquated notions. I like a gentleman.

However this goes much deeper. What about community? What about family? Have you ever heard of a barn raising? Google it if not. Once upon a time neighbors helped out neighbors and friends and family took care of one another. Where did this “tradition” go? See I am contemplating the concept of a “Gentleman” when NO ONE is really taking care of one another. When someone is sick, you prepare a meal and deliver it. You say, “Hey you need me to pick up some toilet paper for you or your prescriptions?” Do something. When a person passes away it used to be, people would show up with a casserole or a Bundt cake. I have seen this only once happen in my life time as an adult and it was in Upper Michigan, maybe something is in the air that shows them how to behave properly. Southerners probably still do it.

This leads me to my next point. Apparently some people simply suck. Dear God- no one should ever feel alone or be alone in these circumstances-if you in fact KNOW someone who is sick, needs help, needs a ride and you are so self-absorbed that you can’t take time out of your precious life to make a Bundt cake-you probably do in fact suck.  If you suck-it is not too late to stop sucking. I have faith in you. It can be a phone call, a store bought Bundt cake, a fruit basket, or holding some ones hand. I think you can. I think you can. I know you can! If you opt to continue sucking…I guess that is your choice. However when you die alone don’t be too shocked.

I guess that wasn’t too “lady like”.

I am blessed. I am thankful for all of my blessings.

I am surrounded by loving people.

My Dad is a good man. He would give you the shirt off of his back, and has. At the drop of a hat he will stop whatever he is doing to help YOU out. Plus he is madly in love with my Mom.

Adam-aka “Dean” is amazing. Sometimes it is hard to correlate “Gentleman” with “Urban-redneck” or “Lumber sexual”-but he is a damn good man. Has he fixed your car? Plowed your driveway? Dropped everything for…whatever the hell you needed-probably.

I have sisters, I have friends-I am blessed!

The moral of the story-life is filled with “Gentleman” and “Ladies”. Life is full of “good” and “bad”. The choice is up to you-to suck or to not suck….

Love and Light-

Agoraphobia Gurl

On a side note- Steve Smith you are a true friend and have turned out to be a mighty fine example of a Gentleman. Thank you! It was a rollercoaster ride, but totally worth it.