Greetings
The crushing weight of fall embarks upon me. I have mentioned before, plenty of times I am sure (as I can be a bit redundant at times) the dark months really kick my ass. This is not a normal trigger for other agoraphobics generally speaking. I guess it is just one of those "special" me things. As I was writing, yes I start my blogs with pen and paper a lot of times and transfer later, it was the first day of fall officially. The beginning of the "dark months".
I am so sick of being dependent on others, reality is everyone is so busy I really hate to even ask. The harsh reality is I have very few people I can actually count on and I have to have a certain comfort level with that person otherwise I may as well be by myself. I morph into this being that is some where between a very low functioning autistic person and some one with Tourette's. This is not the coolest "Transformer" at all.
I need to run some errands and no one could help me so I tried to walk downtown by myself-epic fail! I made it as far as the Salvation Army, I sat on the stairs for a few moments trying to determine what to do. I checked my blood sugar, which was fine. I thought about calling Annie, who lives across town because I have morphed into my lame Transformer and I am trapped like 3 blocks from my house. I sucked it up, took some deep breaths and turned around and went home' like I said, epic fail.
Why are you reading this? Are you passing time? Do you just have nothing better to do? Are you agoraphobic like me and looking for a little solace? Do you suffer from anxiety and my pathetic life makes your seem just a little bit better? Do you love some one like me, or at least care for some one like me? If that is the case, if you have a special person in your life like me and you are seeking ways to understand that person or perhaps help that person....just ask. Simply offer. Give a call and say 'I am running to the store do you want to go along?" You could also offer to pick something up for them, but hopefully that special person will go with option one and take that step outside the house. Offer rides to church or out to lunch.
The thing for me that is the hardest in all honesty is the lack of normalcy I provide for my son. I would love if some one would just call and ask him if he wants to go out to lunch or to a movie, just normal people stuff. McDonald's makes him happy. A trip to the book store, Christmas shopping, a trip to Summerfest. Just normal people stuff, as he does not live with normal people, he lives with me. I would imagine some aspects of me being his mother sucks, which he would never say that, EVER. I am however a realist.
So if you know a person like me, and maybe even more important, if you know that kid reach out, include that kid like you mean it, or even better ONLY if you mean it. Half baked, half assed people don't bother. No additional brain twisting is needed. Said kid has probably got enough issues dealing with said parent. If you mean it, reach out, just do it. That would be my biggest suggestion if you are looking to help some one like me.
Love and Light.
Just incase, as I never know who might actually see this...Jamie Wilfahrt I hope life is treating you well. You are missed, loved, and appreciated. You taught my son that goodbyes are not always bitter, hurtful, or intended. You restored his faith in random acts of kindness and goodness. You taught him about being a good man and a good father. Thank You! Namaste Sir.
No comments:
Post a Comment