More on today...

So I am exhausted and should be in bed. I have taken enough diazepam today to knock out a horse.
I never made it to the birthday party. I was ready, made up and pretty and spent the day waiting for Dean to get home. It would have been nice to have gotten a phone call atleast. I understand that work has to come first but I could have made other plans, I can think of a few people who would have given me a ride. I just felt bad. Dean got home like 30 minutes before the party ended and was a major crab ass. I told these people I would be at the party.I am sorry Alyssa. I really wanted to be a part of your special day.
I got myself mentally ready and took my bucket o diazepam to get me out the door. It takes alot to get me out the door. It is a process. So Dean end I end up in a disagreement. I ended up going to my Parents choir concert with my Sister, and it was a very nice time. My nephew was in the concert too so we were like an hour early which gave us time to chat.
Just when you think you have seen it all, some one had a purse dog with them at the concert!!! It wasn't a helper dog I swear to you a purse dog in a sweater. I was worried about having a sugar soda in the service incase I got low, go figure. Who brings a purse dog to church, really.
I got to see a very dear friend Janet, she is one of the best people I know, so that made my day.
I tried to do everything I was supposed to. I set out with good intentions. I didn't let the first mishap spiral out of control and give up on the rest of my day, which I do sometimes. I get so stressed I just can't even try. I faught the stress and I won. I feel bad that I let some one down, and I guess that gave me the strength and determination to not let others down, or myself the rest of the day. I am off to bed.

Love and Light