The Day After

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday! It has been a very busy Christmas season here, I am glad it is over...I guess.
Yesterday I went to my Mom and Dad's, the house was packed with yummy food (I so want to go back and get some carrot cake and ham!)and people. Mom's house is always filled with people, but her only brother, her only sibling and his family were over. We only gather as a family at Christmas time with all of us. I know my Grandma would hate that.
It was such a good day. My Uncle Eddie is just one of my favorite people, my favorite Uncle hands down. Funny, I am always taking pictures, mostly of the kids, any kids really, but yesterday WE were the kids. My sisters, my cousin Jim and me, I am gathering us around Uncle Eddie for pictures, pictures with each other, it was just like being a kid.
My Uncle Eddie is a person who can make me feel 5 again, which I shared with him and probably should not have(I don't think he got it). When he is around I just feel like a little girl. I feel safe. I feel happy. I feel comfort, and I feel pure joy. It doesn't really matter what else is going on. I didn't get to stay as long as I would have liked, which will not be happening again. I don't get that much time with him. When I was growing up it was every weekend. I am 44 years old now, I love this man and I don't want life to be filled with remorse and regret when he  is gone. I want to seize every opportunity and perhaps create more. I want to cherish every moment. By closing myself off from the world and social situations I am closing myself off to opportunities and relationships, important relationships.
When I see him and squeeze him my eyes tear up, I love him so much. I go back to that place in time...Sunday on Leon Terrace with Grandma and Grandpa and all kinds of food and love. Where I was a little girl and life was safe and good. I was the first Grandchild, and the first niece. I knew love. I was spoiled, not in that bad  "gimmie gimmie" way, but just spoiled with attention and love.
Yesterday was good. Like time stopped, seeing my parents and my Aunt and Uncle, and US kids.
When I was talking to my Aunt Liz, we were talking about how time just flies, she said she remembers when I was 3, I said I remember you and my Mom in your short short skirts and big  hair! I guess I could go on and on about how good yesterday felt but I guess the important message here is don't shut yourself off from every thing.
I know how hard it can be walking out the door, walking into a big group of people, fearing the unknown; but the things we miss if we don't can be huge.
A new year is around the corner lets face it together with courage so we don't have to be filled with regret and what ifs.

Love and Light