Choked in Chili's

Greetings,

Beautiful day today here in the Midwest, aside from the rain. It was almost 60 today, sadly tomorrow returns to typical Wisconsin weather.

So it is beautiful out. I should have a good day right? WRONG. Dean was kind enough to take me to Chili's for lunch. I keep my mouth shut as we drive past "my Denny's". Yeah, Denny's is within my scope of do-ability. I generally do not go when it is busy, we usually end up with the same server, who identifies me as a little off...like can sense like, but she knows my quirks and she always gets me a to go glass for my iced tea because I can never finish it.

Back to Chili's, we go at lunch time. LUNCH TIME, like every one is at Chili's. They got us to a table in a pretty quick manner. Thank Goodness!!! I start to fidget, I need a fidget ring now that I don't carry random things in my pocket in the event of a melt down, I would carry crystals, worry stones, my sons baby teeth on occasion(yeah you are thinking that is over the top and I am creepy aren't you~lol. I don't care!) I start to play in my purse and start playing with my glasses. I am sure the server is thinking "Oh Great". I eat some of my lunch and need to stop because I am pretty sure I am going to die. I still have to run errands~FUCK! We made it out of Chili's alive. I had to set my purse down on the counter before we left to make sure I didn't leave any of the random crap I was playing with behind at my table. Got to love when the OCD kicks in too.

Pick-n-Save, so we are not in "My Pick-n-Save" but that is okay, kinda sort of, not really. I make it! I had a very small list and only forgot two things. I leave Dean in line(have not done that in a LONG LONG TIME) to run to the ladies room to get sick. He sends me to the car with the bags and goes to the next store without me, we both agree this is probably a good thing.

I still have one more stop, and a stop with a line. I wish I had some form of "crazy bitch let me pass" sticker. If they made one I would qualify, and I don't think people would necessarily mind letting the crazy bitch pass. Just my humble opinion. One hour later. I survived.

The moral of the story, always take a lot of diazepam, no not really! Well for me, I am allowed. I have a prescription! In a pinch Southern Comfort maybe. Seriously I should not be such a goof, it makes me a bad example or something. Southern Comfort is really not an option EVER. Here is the real moral of the story, if in fact the story has one. Sometimes life throws you a curve ball. A "normal" person in an act of kindness would not really think of how much of a spiral changing from a "safe place" to just a place could send a person with agoraphobia or panic. On the road to better all you can do is roll with it. Suck it up Buttercup and keep moving forward!

Love and Light.

PS~I had one of those incidents in the gas station not too long ago. I stepped out of line for a second, as I was going to bolt, but I didn't. My blood sugar was low, really low. I jumped back in line and paid. I looked at the guy behind me and said sorry I had to put my stuff down for a second, and went on my not so merry way. Here is the thing, you don't know. You just don't know what that person in front of you or behind you is having an issue with. Try to be kind. Try to be understanding. I have ended up on the floor foaming at the mouth(sexy), bleeding from my head. Try to be kind, Try to be understanding if not because you are a good person and it is the right thing to do, do it so you don't get blood on your shoes.