Greetings
Yesterday was a good day. I got together with Dawn we had a lot of catching up to do. We visited from 3:30 - 8:00 and time went by quickly. If she didn't have children to tend to and work today we could possible still be sitting here.
I told her about the agoraphobia and the panic and it is nice to be remembered as a go girl who loved an adventure. People don't see me that way any more, as I am not that way any more, but in spending time with her I remember how much I want to be that carefree person again. So I guess keep on trying one day at a time.
She makes me feel inspired and she makes me feel young, like anything is still possible. When we were in high school we would skip out and go sit at Hardees with our spiral notebooks, writing poetry or lyrics, how ever you want to look at it. We would make such big plans, it is too bad we never got the opportunity to make any of those dreams realities together. Once upon a time we were going to open a night club( an existing bowling alley) and make it funkadelic from top to bottom. We were really goal driven teenagers, sadly the attendance office did not see it that way. But life happens. She got married pretty quick out of high school and became a domestic goddess and mother of two. She has actually done a lot of cool things with her life but it is not my place to get too personal about her life on my blog.
We talked about family and friends, we talked about her Mom, may she rest in peace, that woman had an impact on my life. She was not in my life personally very long but she was an amazing woman. Politically active and aspiring writer. I always thought she was so cool upstairs drinking her coffee, typing away on the next manuscript, and occasionally sashaying her way down the stairs to make chocolate chip pancakes. She was a woman who inspired me.
After Dawn left I climbed into bed and wrote, maybe it is time to pick up a new spiral notebook again. How I wish I could find my old one.
Do you have an old friend you have not seen in ages, maybe you are afraid to reach out? It could be for reasons of vanity( yeah I had to own that one) it could be because you are afraid of what that person might think about your mental situation; your panic your agoraphobia. Don't let it stop you. One of the most theraputic things I think I have done for myself is seeing Dawn. She didn't judge, and she was a gentle reminder of everything I was and every thing I still could be.
Be kind to yourself.
Love and Light
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